upeka · upekkhā
The quality of steadiness. The capacity to stay rooted and present, no matter what is happening, within yourself or the world around you.
This name has become my guide, my compass, somehow perfectly embodying all that I have grown to value and practice. The capacity to meet all of my experiences, emotions, and feelings with calmness and a steady presence.
About Me
Hi, I’m Upeka – here’s some of my journey
I was born to my sweet, amazing parents, who struggled a lot with their mental health when I was young. Through this I saw very early on how complex life could be, how much struggle came with being human, and how little we knew how to really face it. There was a lot of avoidance, suppression, and fear. Of emotions, of truths.
And quietly, I was collecting my own baggage.
Years of bottled up emotions took me to a very dark chapter in my teenage years. I swallowed a lot. Feeling everything and pushing it down where I could, and when I couldn’t, coping in the ways I knew how. For me, that was self-harm and eating disorders.
This time of my life was an initiation into what pain was and an eye-opener for me about the work that needed to happen. Within myself and in the world around me.
A strong intention was born in me, to learn about myself, about my pain and feelings. To become someone who could look at pain and navigate through tough inner experiences. For my own sake and for others.
This has fueled every choice I’ve made since. I went on to study psychology, then counselling and coaching.
And I began my own deep work. Through a lot of introspection, time with myself, and some profound experiences that brought what I had pushed down to the surface, time and time again.
I found so many neglected emotions. So much sadness, hurt, anger, frustration. And I slowly learned to connect to them, to let them flow, to not swallow.
This has been one of the biggest gifts of my life. Learning that emotions come like a wave and pass. That I can be present with the intensity, eye to eye with discomfort, without getting lost. The less scared I am of what I feel, the less I need to swallow it.
This work has been at the centre of my life for the past 6 years. And I am still practicing, every day, in my own way.
So here I am.
This practice is the manifestation of the decision I felt in my heart as a young girl. I wish to show up, with what I have been studying and living, to support other women in navigating their inner worlds.
To feel. To express. To stop swallowing their emotions, their truths, their voices. To stand steady in all that they are. To own themselves.
Upeka
My Teachers
Indigenous plant medicine
For being the biggest catalyst for my change, pushing me to face my toughest parts, and teaching me the practice of sitting steady in discomfort, and then to dare to celebrate!
Buddhism
For teaching me to take things less seriously, less personally. To land deeper in the present moment. And for being the tradition I grew up with, for shaping how I see and move through the world.
My menstrual cycle
For guiding me to go inward to feel and process, teaching me to sit with discomfort and meet myself. And in other moments, pushing me to show up in the world and dare to do what I wish to do.
Nature
For teaching me the medicine of singing, dancing, and being. Rising and falling.
Education & training
Bachelor of Arts — Amsterdam University College, majoring in Psychology
Certified Counsellor & Coach — Academy of Counselling and Coaching, Netherlands
Specialising in grief, trauma & recovery
Soul Coach Training Module 1 — The Sacred Voyage
Menstrual Cycle Coach — The Cycle Coach School